5.17.15 | Q & A on Marriage and Relationship

Dr. David & Lanette Whitaker and Dr. Jeff & Marci Holmes

For the last several weeks, we've been collecting questions from our congregation about relationships, marriage and what it all has to do with the Gospel. Dr. David Whitaker and his wife, Lanette, of more than 30 years partnered with Dr. Jeff Holmes and his wife, Marci, of more than 20 years to answer these questions. 

Download or listen to Q&A on Marriage and Relationship to hear more.

These questions are provided for your further study and application of this message. It is helpful to discuss your answers with others such as your Community Group, family, friends or an accountability partner.

1. What is your "take away" from this message?
2. What is unusual about the way Paul applies the general principle of v. 21 specifically to wives (vv.23-24)? How does the wife emulate Jesus' relationship with the Father (Philippians 2:5-8; 1 Corinthians 11:1-3)?
3. Who and why does he address husbands the way he does (vv. 25-33)? How does v. 21 to husbands? What would it mean for the husband to live with his wife with this type of love? How does the husband emulate Jesus (v. 25)?
4. In your own words, how would you express the goal of Christian marriage (v. 31-32)? What does marriage have to with "Christ and the church"?
5. How does the gospel empower as well as become a model for marriage?
6. In 1 Peter 3, how is the submission here similar in purpose to that in 1 Peter 2:13-15? What qualities are singled out? What does Sarah's example add?
7. In what way (1 Peter 3) are husbands to treat their wives?
8. Married or not, what qualities here would you like to build into your friendships with the opposite sex?
9. What would a marriage built on mutual submission actually look like?
10. Is Peter advocating that spouses stay in cruel situations? Why or why not?
11. Write out a prayer in response to what the Lord has taught you through this study and what steps in response He might want you to take.

5.10.15 | ...In An Environment of Grace

Dr. David Whitaker  | Ephesians 5:15-33

The Scriptures begin with a marriage, and they end with a marriage... Marriage has always been God's greatest model of how He relates to humanity. God uses marriage to transform and change us. The goal of Christ when He comes into our life is to be in His image, to be like Him. While we are here on earth, God is using husbands and wives to do that; but the ultimate marriage awaits us in heaven.

Download or listen to In An Environment of Grace to hear more.

These questions are provided for your further study and application of this message. It is helpful to discuss your answers with others such as your Community Group, family, friends or an accountability partner.

1. What is your take away from this message?
2. What is the wise way for us to walk (vv. 8-18)? Reading the context of v. 18, what does it mean to be "filled with the Spirit"? What does that have to do with v. 21?
3. What is unusual about the way Paul applies the general principle of v. 21 specifically to wives (vv. 23-24)? How does the wife emulate Jesus (Philippians 2:5-8; 1 Corinthians 11:1-3; Jesus' relationship with the Father)?
4. Who and why does he address husbands the way he does )vv. 25-33)? How does v. 21 apply to husbands? What would it mean for the husband to live with his wife with this type of love? How does the husband emulate Jesus (v. 25)?
5. In your own words, how would you express the goal of Christian marriage (v. 31-32)? What does marriage have to do with "Christ and the church"?
6. How does the gospel empower as well as become a model for marriage?
7. What counter-cultural principles can you work on to be a better spouse (or potential spouse)? What core need does each spouse's obedience meet in the other (see v. 33)?
8. Write out a prayer in response to what the Lord has taught you through this study and what steps in response or trust that He might want you to take.

5.3.15 | Trouble in Eden

Dr. David Whitaker | Genesis 3:1-23

A covenant relationship is a relationship that is not determined by what the other party does. It is determined by what each of you has committed to do. Regardless of what you do or do not do, that commitment will be honored. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health... It does not matter how bad it gets. That commitment will be honored. That is a covenant relationship.

Download or listen to Trouble in Eden to hear more.

These questions are provided for your further study and application of this message. It is helpful to discuss your answers with others such as your Community Group, family, friends or an accountability partner.

1. What is your take away from this message?
2. Which portion of the serpent's statements (vv. 1, 4, 5) are true and which are false (see 3:5, 22; 5:5)? Why do you think he mixes truth with lies?
3. Compare vv. 7-13 with Genesis 2. How has the relationship changed between the man and the woman? How has the relationship they had with God changed?
4. Why do they engage in the original "coverup" (2:25; 3:7), "hide-and-seek" (3:8-10) and "blame games" (3:12-13)?
5. From this story, how would you define sin and its consequences?
6. Where in this story do you find any good news? If Jesus is the ultimate offspring of Eve and Adam, and is Satan's enemy (v. 15), and if Jesus is the promised tree of life (v. 24; Revelation 2:7), what does that mean for us sinners?
7. How easy is it for you to accept responsibility and admit it when you are wrong? Why?
8. When do you feel most "naked" before God? How does this help you understand Adam's and Eve's reactions? Where in your life is the "serpent" seemingly alive and well?
9. How does the gospel story of Jesus address these issues between us and God? Between us and each other?
10. Write out a prayer in response to what the Lord has taught you through this study and what steps in response He might want you to take.

4.26.15 | The Art of Loving: Loving Out of the Right Box

Dr. Jeff Holmes | Ephesians 5:15-21

The agape style of love that God has given us to live out is a love that is based on sacrifice, sculpture and seeking. The job of a sacrifice is to die, to give up itself for something else. Our relationships are gifts that give us opportunities to do just that. As we learn to die to ourselves, God is shaping us like a sculpture, molding our hearts towards agape. This love seeks you out; you cannot escape it.

Download or listen to Loving Out of the Right Box to hear more.

These questions are provided for your further study and application of this message. It is helpful to discuss your answers with others such as your Community Group, family, friends or an accountability partner.

1. How did God speak to you through the message this week?
2. Read Ephesians 5:31-33. When you think about Christ's relationship with the church, how does that describe the submission in Paul's statement to submit to one another? (5:21)
3. The man's job is to "love" in the relational passage, and the woman is to "submit," then later in the passage, "respect"... How is loving the woman submitting to Christ? What does that look like for you? How is respecting the husband submitting to Christ? What does that look like for you?
4. Are Paul's words to the Ephesians different from what we've culturally believed?
5. Do you think there is a difference between love and respect? What do you think it is?
6. What is your personal calling from God out of these Scriptures? (see Ephesians 5:21)
7. Write out a prayer in response to what the Lord has taught you through this study and what steps in response He might want you to take.

4.19.15 | The Art of Loving: Hopes & Expectations

Dr. Jeff Holmes | Genesis 2 & 3

How do our hopes, dreams and ideas of relationship turn into expectations? When we elevate ourselves over the other person in our relationship, expectations steal away choice and intimacy. "I know better, I deserve more, I should have..." The reality of this is expectations are the acid of intimacy.

Download or listen to Hopes & Expectations to hear more.

These questions are provided for your further study and application of this message. It is helpful to discuss your answers with others such as your Community Group, family, friends or an accountability partner.

1. Describe a time you learned something important about relationships through a friend, relative, boyfriend or girlfriend, spouse, etc.
2. Read Genesis 1:26-27. What do you think it means that we are created in God's image? Why do you think God uses a plural pronoun in verse 26 to refer to Himself? What does this imply about us and relationship?
3. Read Ephesians 5:1-2. What are some examples of God demonstrating His love? Have you ever imitated God's love intentionally or inadvertently? What happened?
4. Read Romans 1:18-23. What does sin do to the possibility of imitating God's love? Verse 23 speaks of "great" exchange. How does this apply to our relationships?
5. Can you share a desire that moved into the "expectation box?"
6. Have you ever experienced expectations as an acid to intimacy? What are ways you have seen this?
7. Read Romans 5:8. What would this kind of love look like if you actively lived it out? (make this personal for you specifically and not people in general)
8. Write out a prayer in response to what the Lord has taught you through this study and what steps in response He might want you to take.

4.12.15 | The Art of Loving: The First Marriage

Dr. Dave Whitaker | Genesis 2:18-25

There is an art to loving. In the first chapters of Genesis, God gave us marriage to shape and fulfill us. Often, however, we take what God designed and make our relationships personal idols. We lose sight of the reality that God needs to be our first priority.

Download or listen to The First Marriage to hear more.

These questions are provided for your further study and application of this message. It is helpful to discuss your answers with others such as your Community Group, family, friends or an accountability partner.

1. What is your take away from this message?
2. What do Genesis 1:26-29 and 2:7-25 teach about our original nature and character? Our purpose and tasks? Our likeness to the animals? To God?
3. Male and female jointly express God's image... what does that mean?
4. God is often described as a "helper" (e.g., Hosea 13:9; Psalm 115:9-11). What can a wife learn from this in her role (vv. 18, 20)?
5. How would you characterize the relationship between Adam and Eve? Between them and God? What makes this kind of relationship possible?
6. What about the intimacy and openness experienced in this chapter seems normal to you? What seems abnormal in your experience?
7. How would you describe you relationship with God? More like a distant relative, a divine lover, or a perfect stranger? How might you draw closer to Him?
8. Is there a relationship in your life that has become an idol for you? If so, how has that expressed itself?
9. What steps can you take to give Jesus Christ His rightful place in your life?
10. Write out a prayer in response to what the Lord has taught you through this study and what steps in response He might want you to take.

4.5.15 | Empty Tomb (Easter)

Dr. Dave Whitaker | Mark 15:40-16:8

When you get to know Jesus, there are going to be some things you do not like. He is a threat to us because believing in Him means we lose control. You need a God who is not a product of your needs, but one who you can believe in not because He meets your needs, but because He is true. Though, because He is true, He will meet your needs.

Download or listen to Empty Tomb to hear more.

These questions are provided for your further study and application of this message. It is helpful to discuss your answers with others such as your Community Group, family, friends or an accountability partner.

1. What is your take away from this message?
2. Why do you think the women go to the tomb at the time they do? What does this say about them?
3. What potential problem looms ahead? What do they find instead? What do they fear? Seeing the empty tomb and the man sitting beside it, what thoughts are racing through their heads?
4. Do you think they believed the man? How do their actions support your answer?
5. Why do you think the angel asked them specifically to speak to Peter? What does this tell you about Jesus' attitude, concern and plans for Peter?
6. Would you have had trouble believing the angel's words? Why or why not?
7. Who did Jesus send to tell you that He has risen? Did you/do you have trouble believing that person?
8. What are your obstacles to believing in the resurrection of Jesus? Since Christianity rests completely on the resurrection of Jesus, would you be willing to explore this further? (We'd be happy to have a conversation). What steps could you take this week?
9. If you are convinced, what convinced you? To whom is Jesus sending you with this message? What steps will you take to share this good news?
10. Write out a prayer in response to what the Lord has taught you though this study and what steps in response that He might want you to take.